Quote category: Discworld
...inside every old person is a young person wondering what happened.
All assassins had a full-length mirror in their rooms, because it would be a terrible insult to anyone to kill them when you were badly dressed. (Pyramids)
Cats will amusingly tolerate humans only until someone comes up with a tin opener that can be operated with a paw.
(Men at Arms)
Even if it's not your fault, it's your responsibility. (A Hat Full of Sky)
Ginger: You know what the greatest tragedy is in the whole world? ...It's all the people who never find out what it is they really want to do or what it is they're really good at. It's all the sons who become blacksmiths because their fathers were blacksmiths. It's all the people who could be really fantastic flute players who grow old and die without ever seeing a musical instrument, so they become bad plowmen instead. It's all the people with talents who never even find out. Maybe they are never even born in a time when it's even possible to find out. It's all the people who never get to know what it is that they can really be. It's all the wasted chances.
Gods prefer simple, vicious games, where you Do Not Achieve Transcendence but Go Straight To Oblivion; a key to the understanding of all religion is that a god's idea of amusement is Snakes and Ladders with greased rungs.
How can you protect yourself by carrying a sword if you don't know how to use it?
Not me, sir. Other people. They see the sword and don't attack me, said Maladict patiently.
Yes, but if they did, lad, you wouldn't be any good with it, said the sergeant.
No, sir. I'd probably settle for just ripping their heads off, sir. That's what I mean by protection, sir. Theirs, not mine. And I'd get hell from the League if I did that, sir.
If cats looked like frogs we'd realize what nasty, cruel little bastards they are.
Style. That's what people remember.
(Lords and Ladies)
It was amazing how many friends you could make by being bad at things, provided you were bad enough to be funny. (Reaper Man)
Look, he said to his imagination, if this is how you're going to behave, I shan't bring you again.