Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy.
If you're not having fun, you're doing something wrong.
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.
Gentlemen, Chicolini here may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot, but don't let that fool you, he really is an idiot.
Do you suppose I could buy back my introduction to you?
Humor is reason gone mad.
While money can't buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.
If you want to know where God is, ask a drunk.
24 hours in a day...
24 beers in a case... coincidence?
In any relationship, the woman has control; the clever ones don't let the men know.