Quotes by Groucho Marx


Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy.

Money

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If you're not having fun, you're doing something wrong.

Wisdom

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Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.

Politics

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Gentlemen, Chicolini here may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot, but don't let that fool you, he really is an idiot.

Funny

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Do you suppose I could buy back my introduction to you?

Uncategorized

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Humor is reason gone mad.

Uncategorized

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While money can't buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.

Money

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If you want to know where God is, ask a drunk.

Wisdom

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24 hours in a day...
24 beers in a case... coincidence?

Alcohol

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In any relationship, the woman has control; the clever ones don't let the men know.

Women

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